Just Don’t Do It

No Worries

A couple months ago, I came to the realization that I was in this eternal state of constant running, and yet I had not covered much ground; for I was running faster and harder in the same spot !!

So I took a stance.  I came up with a “NOT TO DO LIST” and followed that list more rigidly than I had ever followed my “TO DOs” <Note to Self: Sounds like  a classic Barber Paradox?>  And I got this epiphany from attending a conference at amazon.com, where the inspiring Nadia Shouraboura, a senior VP at amazon.com  was a guest speaker.

And thanks to that list, I did not feel obligated to blog. I also completely toned down on my technological obsession of keeping up on the inner annals and mechanics of search engines. And especially considering that my day job had nothing to do with search engines.  And I magically started to get back my beauty sleep.

I also reduced my reading pile – I stopped looking at my goal-oriented book lists. And ironically this gave me time to go meet the real people behind the books. I met the fantastic Mr. Pico Iyer, my literary hero, in person, when he came to town for a lecture. And I had the most remarkable half-hour conversation with the man himself. ( I do have a blog post about this still in a draft state, thanks to my Not-to-do List )

I stopped going to my music lessons because of the time spent on the long commutes.  Yet,  I feel I am absorbing more music by just listening consciously in a relaxed home setting. And after many years, I felt blessed at the opportunity to attend a vocal concert by a revered Carnatic musician, early this summer at Seattle.

I dropped a day’s training from my strict fitness routine that was getting to be exhausting. Instead it gave me time to rediscover with R,  a passion for bicycling and running -  we even managed to do a 5K run this past summer, just like that.  The pleasure we derived from these unscheduled activities is undescribable.

And as much as I am embracing Hakuna Matata, I am also learning to “ask”. I had booked tickets to take R to India for a quick visit to the grandparents. R was very keen to spend the summer here and R firmly picked up the phone one evening and asked the grandparents if they would come visit us instead. And next thing I knew, my parents came over and we had the most enjoyable summer ever together.  All I had to do was - “ask” ! Thanks for that lesson my lil R!

I am also getting better at saying “No”. I am trying to be decisive, draw clear lines and boundaries in everyday things and relationships. I stopped volunteering on my sleep-addled time. I now do things out of zero obligation.

And despite my “Not To Do” status-quo, fab opportunities have come a-knocking. During a chance conversation, I was asked to interview for a fascinating role in the Chief of Staff org for the Chief Software Architect.  I was beyond thrilled and that single conversation woke me up from my everyday schlepping. I had to ask hard questions – Am I happy at my current role ? Where do I want to be in 3 years ?  Am I passionate about what I do , when I wake up in the morning everyday ?

 And once I started to peel the layers of  my “career onion” with great inputs from some thoughtful mentors and friends, I found my answers. I interviewed not just for that role, but for a few other roles  as well. And one thing lead to another and I found a job where I can dream up my technological passions. I start my new role in a couple weeks.   Yes, it definitely helps that I work with a brilliant set of people in an amazing company where opportunities are abound.

I learnt that in life you have to stop, unthink, and ask. The world will turn and listen.  I also learnt that you just open your eyes to new possibilities sticking outside your door,  if you only learn to breathe and stop flailing in the wind. Ok, mom , I grok it now, really !!!

If  ***NOT*** anything, this summer has proved to me that often we are prisoners of our own device.

So I let go of those shackles and handcuffs that my “inner critic” bound me….and I am loving the ride so far.